vagina who, what?
Going off on a tangent here, I still get a kick out of 3rd grade humor, so my favorite metaphors for human genitalia are as follows:
- penis – purple-headed yogurt slinger
- vagina – velvet-lined sausage wallet
Guys: have you and your girlfriend ever been naked with the lights on, and out of curiosity you just kinda leaned in and got a close-up of her vagina for a second? Chances are she probably covered it up frantically and exclaimed, "What the hell are you doing!" as if you were plotting some sort of terrorist attack against the United States of Labiamerica.
Yeah, well I tried this once, and she freaked. But all I had to say for myself was, "Let me get this straight: you'll let me put something inside it, but you won't let me just look at it for like 5 seconds without touching? Come on, that doesn't make any sense." Haha. I know I'm not the first guy to notice that girls are kind of weird about this.
Anyway, what spawned this post was mindless internet surfing, followed by a random memory of those old Monistat commercials that frequently littered primetime TV about treatment for yeast infections. Honestly, I don’t have a fucking clue what a yeast infection is, and having had a chance to contemplate it, I don’t think I really want to know. The name sounds like one of those things that might not seem like a big deal, but could also be really disgusting. I'd rather just keep the fuzzy image in my mind of a vagina that has decided to turn itself into a bakery instead of a reproductive organ, which somehow raises health concerns. Apparently females are only meant to produce babies and milk, so if there’s any sign of cinnamon raisin bread it’s probably time to see a doctor.